Thought: I think I will always know who my true friends are in life.
What I used to think:
I used to be the kind of girl that had 15 friends and I told every single one of them, “You are my BEST friend.” When, in reality, none of them really were. I had no best friend as far as I knew, I just wanted everyone to like me and I wanted to feel accepted by all. But when you have so many “best friends” and you don’t know anything about them, they probably aren’t your friends. Do you know their birthday? Their favorite food? Middle name? I didn’t know any of this stuff, I just wanted to be able to tell people I was friends with that person.
When I noticed it:
Really, all of these people were just acquaintances. They were all just people I saw everyday. I didn’t want a best friend in High School – I already had one. Jacob was my best friend. I wanted to be accepted by all my peers. When you are in High School and you are the one that doesn’t drink alcohol or have sex with anyone or cuss, you become kind of an outcast. I didn’t want that.
There were friends that would tell me that they respected my decision to not drink and have sex and cuss, and it hurt me that they respected my decision, but didn’t respect themselves enough to let up a little. I am nowhere near saying that I am perfect because I didn’t do these things, it just freed up a lot of my time and I lived a pretty amazing drama-free HS life. I enjoyed it.
How I feel now:
Google defines a best friend as the one friend who is closest to you. But who was I close to? Jacob? Yes. Everyone else? No. I wouldn’t trust anyone in my graduating class with my life besides him. Sadly.. I couldn’t really trust many people..(I have trust issues already) so when we graduated it was pretty easy to see everyone leave for their college choice. But now that they are all gone and I don’t see them anymore, I have withdrawals. I was fortunate enough to graduate with people that I knew from Kindergarten. And now I never see these people anymore, but when I talk to them, I feel like they were never away. Those are my true friends. I do not need BEST friends. I need true friends. Friends that when I see them at my 10 year high school reunion, it will be like any other day. And I know that being in college is a great experience to meet new people. And I have met some incredible people, but I would never hang out with them, because they are not going to become true friends to me. They may to some people, but not to me.
The only thing I am trying to say here is to pay attention to the people you surround yourself with. My true friends will always be there for me and I know that they know who they are, and I thank them for the person they have helped me become. And I thank God for His love and his intervention in my thoughts and in my choices in friends.